08.12.08 11:54am, Portland OR (on tour with 1618)

Tour so far can only be described by a word I have never associated with previous tours, fun. Normal I could say I had fun at this show or that, but the actual act touring has never been fun until this trip. We were almost unable to go on this tour. We’ve had so many bassist issues. We lost Josh a month ago, Joey (Josh’s replacement) had a family crisis and we were dead in the water. Thankfully Alex from Old News came in at the zero hour learned our stuff in two long days and jumped in the van. That, my friends, is punk rock. Seattle was a complete bust. No one came to the show we played for some rather annoyed bar employees, the promoter of the show and each other. It was fun. Tonight we play Portland. It should be a great show. We play with friends and for friends. Both our bands have a plethora of friends here. I’d wager this will go down as best show of the tour.

06.14.08 3:45pm, South Lake Tahoe, CA

I’m not really sure were to begin this entry. So much has been going on. Let’s start with the Las Vegas adventure. Kyle and I left Reno Monday at about 7:30pm and drove straight through to Vegas. It was a long, tiring haul. We got to my brother in-laws house somewhere around 4:00am. We grabbed some sleep, got up sort of early and hooked up with Josh and Pat. The four of us went to the venue to check things out. There was a brief moment of terror when the owner didn’t know about, or didn’t remember the show. After that was solved we met Jen (the wonderful young woman who put us on the show) at one of the many casinos on the strip. With Wait in Vain in tow we headed to Jen’s house to eat. We got to hang out at her place for awhile and chat with the Wait in Vain guys and the guys from Nothing Gold (the local band whose gear we were borrowing). Everyone was very cool, and the food was great. At around 6:30 we all went to the venue to get things set up and ready for the show. Everyone was excited. None of us had even seen Tragedy let alone played with them, and Wait in Vain is made up of ex-members of some of the most amazing bands in hardcore.

Before the show there was an open mic/poetry reading thing. Josh and I both read which seemed to win over some of the kids. I guess the last time there was an open mic and show on the same night there was some kind of conflict, so Josh and I being involved in both helped us make some friends. And after I read, I sold a book which was nice.

The show was great, Nothing Gold were fantastic I can’t wait to play with them again. Our set went very well. Kids seemed to like us and we played well. Kyle told the crowd we drove a thousand miles to play twenty minutes of music for them and they all cheered. At one point I looked up and Timm from Wait in Vain was banging his head and getting into us, then I looked to my right and the guitarist of Tragedy was standing maybe three rows back in the crowd. Amazing. Wait in Vain were everything I hoped they’d be. The coolest thing with Wait in Vain was we drove almost a five-hundred miles to Vegas as their fans, and we drove almost five-hundred miles home as their friends. Blow Back from Japan were so much fun. They spoke little to no English so it was tough trying to communicate with them. They were a blast to watch. Tragedy played last and it was worth the drive. The venue had no stage so we were eye-to-eye with one of the greatest hardcore bands in history. The look on Pat’s face while he sang along with all his heart made my week. I’ve never seen that kid so happy. We got to talk with the guys in Tragedy afterwards. They were incredible. They apologized to us for missing the beginning of our set. I was really impressed with how humble and genuinely friendly they were. After the show we grabbed a few hours sleep and headed back to Reno for another show with Wait in Vain.

Driving home from Vegas in the heat of the day wasn’t fun. Kyle and I stopped in Tonopah to get some food. Being vegan made it hard for Kyle to get anything to eat. There was an old lady in the coffee shop who couldn’t take her eyes of me. The pure hatred covering her face was astonishing. Her life will be infinitely worse now that she has to know someone like me exists. We made it home just in time to get our gear and head to the HQ for the next show. Too little sleep, too much bad food and way too much fun made for the best show we’ve ever played. Deepen the Wound and 1618 played great sets too. Wait in Vain were amazing again.

After the show I took the Wait in Vain guys to my house and Des fed them. They had two shows cancel so they were our guests for two nights. I had a great time hanging out and getting to know those guys. This is the best time I’ve had being a part of hardcore. We are on the brink of something amazing in hardcore. There are so many great bands touring, recording, reaching out to kids. It’s an amazing time to be part of this scene.

Friday we drove up to Berkley and went to see Tragedy for the second time in a week. Not bad for a band I thought I’d never get to see live. As we were waiting in line Al Blotto came out asking for volunteers to work at Gilman for the night. He made it sound pretty desperate so the whole band signed up and worked the door. We had to miss most of the show but got to go in two songs into the Tragedy set. It was cool to see them on a stage and get to go crazy with all the kids. I love that we got to see two completely different shows, one very up close and personal the other in a crazy, sweaty mosh-pit. After the show we got a cheap motel and got some much needed sleep.

We tried to get a show on Saturday but no dice so instead we geeked around Berkley and went record shopping and people watching. It was great to hang out, just the four of us.

Sunday was the culmination of a life long dream for me. We played a matinee at Gilman. I’ve waited to play that place since I first started playing in hardcore bands. I was an amazing thing for me to be there on that stage. So many of my favorite bands have stood right where I was standing, hell Tragedy was there just one day before. Before the show we went to a vegan barbeque at a friend’s house and hung out with a bunch of kids we’ve never met. By the time we hit Gilman the crowd was full of familiar faces.

It’s been a hell of a week. And to top it all off, yesterday was the five year anniversary of Des’ and me getting married. We’re up in Tahoe relaxing and enjoying life. Not a bad place to be at all.

06.01.08 8:53pm

I’ve been working extra hours to make up for the two and half days I’ll be missing this week for show and such. I wanted to work today but I was too tired. Saturday we had a parking lot sale at work and I worked my ass off. I was really run down today. I haven’t done much today at all. I went to my guitar lesson with Ryan. It was difficult as always. Every new exercise he gives me is tougher than the last. I’m learning a lot.

I got a call from Stark today. He got some equipment that will allow Slander House to make smaller batches of books at a lower price. Very exciting news. I’m going to condense the three volumes of poems I’ve been writing for the trilogy, and just put out one volume called No Apologies, No Forgiveness, No Regrets. And then get to work on the next project.

05.25.08 10:58pm

This was a pretty great weekend. Scaring Sparrows played Carson City on Saturday. I love Carson shows. They are always fun. We got a great response from the kids down there. Today Pat (our drummer) tattooed me in my kitchen. Tomorrow we start a marathon of rehearsals to prepare for the barrage of shows next week. Tuesday we play Las Vegas with Tragedy, Wednesday we play Reno with Wait in Vain (they are on the Vegas show too) Friday we see Tragedy at Gilman Saturday we’re hoping to play a show in Santa Cruz and Sunday we play a matinee at Gilman with Ampere, Badder Brains and Punch. Not a bad ten days.

05.18.08 4:23pm

Wow I am not very good at updating this page. Sorry for the delay and thanks for all the emails reminding me I have a web site.

A lot has happened since the last update, Donny is no longer in the band Pat Sutton, who played with Josh and me in Guns Down, is our new full time drummer. We have a ton of shows booked (see our Myspace page for more info). I turned thirty-six at the end of April. I guess that’s some kind of a milestone or something. For me it was just Tuesday. I went to work and I went to band practice. The new job is still going well. The flexible schedule is a huge help with all the shows Scaring Sparrows is playing.

I’ll try to keep the updates more steady. I get so busy I tend to let this site slide.

Listening to She & Him, Pulling Teeth and Tragedy (by the way we are playing with Tragedy in Las Vegas. I can’t fucking believe it.)

03.13.08 7:34pm

Wow, almost a month with no update. The new job is great. I’m enjoying the work and the company. I’m learning new things everyday. It’s nice to have some cash in my pocket again too. Des and I paid off some bills so I have enough money to cover the bills and still have some spending money.

The band is in disarray at the moment, Donny is going through some bad shit and we need to find a temporary drummer to cover some shows we’ve committed to through June. The first one is at the end of March so time is an issue.

I’ve been working out again and it feels great. I lapsed for a long time and I am out of shape.

I’ve been listening to the new albums by Bauhaus, Terrorizer, Mike Patton and Cat Power.

02.19.08 6:11pm

The new job is working out pretty well. They’ve already given me a raise. I like the work and my co-workers are all cool. I could see myself hanging out with them outside the workplace. Today I was trained on the fork-lift which was pretty damn fun. Things are looking good.

I’ve been listening to Type O Negative’s newer album, Dead Again, and a ton of Disfear.

Reading Nathanael West, A Cool Million.

02.13.08 10:54pm

I got a new job today. I start at 9:00am tomorrow. It’s at the bottom of the pay scale I was hoping for. I can live on it and the hours are flexible enough that I can plan some touring. I think this is going to be a great thing for me.

Listening to Dub Trio’s new CD, Another Sound is Dying.

02.12.08 10:50am

Des and I went to Auburn and Sacramento yesterday. Des needed to buy some fabric for a project and the only place that had it was in Auburn. We went to Sacramento for no reason other then to go. It was a fun day but I spent money I shouldn’t have. We went to True Love Café and the Beat record store. We also wandered around Sutter’s Fort. Sutter’s Fort was one of the earliest European settlements in what was then Mexican California. It was built by a Swiss immigrant John Sutter who was essentially a failed businessman who left his family and a mountain of debt behind in Switzerland and came to the US. His business sense didn’t improve much here and he was eventually suckered out of a potential fortune in gold by some unscrupulous partners. It was interesting to learn about him and it was nice to get out of Reno.

I’m going on my third week of unemployment. I have yet to see an unemployment check but hey, what has splitting hairs ever accomplished?

02.06.08 6:43pm

I have two guitar cabinets for sale. I looking to sell them to someone here in Reno. Click here to see photos and get more info. Email me here if you're interested.

02.04.07 11:39am

I went to the Bay Area with Ryan this weekend to see him speak at Gilman on a show with Kevin Seconds. It was fun and I needed the time out of town. Kevin’s set was solo acoustic. I really enjoyed the set and it was cool to see Kevin still out there and still playing music.

Today begins my second week as part the 5.4% of Nevadans who are unemployed. So far the job search has been very unproductive. I’ve had one interview and they aren’t hiring until late February, early March.

01.29.08 4:14pm

Hunting for a job sucks. I’ve been filling out applications and dropping off resumes all day yesterday and today. I’ve filled out who knows how many online applications and so far all I’ve gotten in the way of responses are pyramid schemes and telemarketers. I do have a meeting with a glass company this Friday. I hope that pans out. I’ve had a tough time dealing with the unemployment department and would like to find a job before I have to have any further dealings with them.

Listening to The Shins, Foo Fighters, Coliseum and Disfear today.

01.25.08 8:42am

I’ve started really looking for another job. I can’t stay here anymore. This job is ruining me. I feel trapped. I haven’t been able to write anything in weeks. It’s awful. Life is too short to hate what you do eight hours a day. This is going to be a bitter sweet weekend I’m glad for the time off, but Tuesday I have the emergency phone again. Being on call like that twenty-four hours a day for seven days is soul-crushing. You can’t make any plans, anything you do could be interrupted at any minute by the shrill ring of that phone. Just thinking about it makes me miserable.

Listening to Radiohead, The Bends.

9:13pm

The decision to quit or stick it out at my shit job was made for me today. I was laid-off. The real work starts now. I have to find a job.

Listening to Disfear, Live the Storm.

01.23.08 7:53am

I just read a story on MSNBC.com about an independent study released by two non-profit journalism organizations. The study shows the Bush administration collectively made 935 “false statements” about Iraq and weapons of mass destruction in the two years following the 9/11 attacks. (532 of those were specifically related to Iraq’s alleged possession of weapons of mass destruction and alleged ties to al-Qaida) That’s a little more than one and a half “false statements” (or lies for the non-PC among us) a day, all weekends and holidays included. G-d Bless Amerika. These colors don’t run! They do however lie…a lot.

It’s already been a long week and it’s only Wednesday. The show Monday was OK. There were some PA problems early in the set and it made it tough to keep the energy up. I hate just standing in front of people and playing our songs. To me a show is a spectacle. It’s the whole package and the energy has to be red-lined the whole time. I still had fun and Ruiner was amazing. Old News is quickly becoming my favorite Reno Hardcore band.

Yesterday at work I spent most of my day crawling through people’s attics. Today I am sore, tired and I feel sick. I assume the sick feeling comes from breathing stale, dusty air and insulation fibers all day yesterday. I always tell myself I’d rather be unemployed than unhappy, so why don’t I quit this shit job?

Listening to Sons & Daughters, The Repulsion Box and thinking hard about where I’m going with my life right now.

01.16.08 7:25am

Scaring Sparrows practice went well last night. We’re working on three new songs and have two or three riffs for a fourth. I’d love to have some new material before we head to California in February. We have a show Monday at Fort Ryland and then nothing until late February. I think we’re going to try to record during the down time. Nothing major, just a demo recording.

I got up late today and didn’t have time to make coffee so I had to stop at a Starbucks on the way in. While I was waiting for my drink I eavesdropped on a conversation a large group behind me were having. They were holding a meeting about the Nevada Caucus. They had pulled together about four tables into a makeshift conference table and were discussing ways to help Mitt Romney beat John McCain here in Nevada, and then in the larger scope how Romney could beat Barack Obama and take the White House. I found it interesting that they have already decided Obama will be the Democratic candidate. One woman was making a lot of bad jokes and asking everyone as they walked in if they were voting for Hillary. She thought she was very funny and several people at her conference table pretended to laugh, but really it was just sad.

I’ve been listening to Patton Oswalt, Werewolves and Lollipops since last night. Parts of it are so funny it makes my teeth hurt.

01.14.08 12:42pm

I got the other side of my neck tattooed yesterday. Lon Chaney as the Wolf Man to go with Boris Karloff as Frankenstein. Due to the amount of detail in the Wolf Man it had to be quite a bit bigger than the Frankenstein. Mark is going to add to the Frankenstein to even things out. It looks a little weird and lopsided right now with one being so much bigger than the other. If I’d known how big Wolf Man had to be I would have gotten Frankenstein bigger. Oh well Mark will do it up in February and it will be more symmetrical.

Listening to Jets to Brazil, Perfecting Loneliness and hoping the swelling on my neck goes down soon.

1.12.08 5:53pm

Lasts nights show was amazing. This band is so much fun. In the past if there were mistakes live I’d get bummed out and really let it get to me. With this band, these guys, the energy is so high and so crazy that minor mistakes don’t seem to matter. We have another band to add to the list of comparisons, two people who I have a great deal of respect for said we sound like Deadguy. Deadguy? That is huge to me. I have always considered them a huge influence on my music. I was floored when that came out of two people, independent of each other. Amazing.

Listening to Will Haven, WHVN.

01.10.08 10:57am

There are rumors that the company I work for is going bankrupt. Every customer I talk to asks me about it. I honestly don’t know if it’s true or not. Working here is becoming very stressful. It’s only a matter of time before I blow up at someone and get fired. I’m sort of shocked it hasn’t happened yet. I’d like to be able to stick it out here for eight more months and get myself out of debt, but I don’t see it happening. I sense a job hunt in my near future.

Kyle is working on some out of town shows for us in February. We’re looking at Santa Cruz and Lodi. I hope it all comes together. I’d love to get out of Reno for a few days.

Listening to Sunn O))) and Boris, Altar now I’ve also been listening to Tusk, The Resisting Dreamer today.

01.05.08 3:22pm

It’s snowing like a champ today. The show is cancelled and I’m not driving anywhere tonight. It’s a good night to sit home and watch some DVD’s.

01.03.08 6:01pm

I am a documentary guy. I love to watch documentaries. I currently have my brain soaking in IFC’s, Indie Sex. It’s a fairly in depth study of sex and the cinema. I find it pretty fascinating how much trouble can be stirred up over a few breasts and some sweaty hot love making. Other doc’s that have passed through my DVD player in recent months were Punk: Attitude, American Hardcore and the absolutely heart wrenching When the Levees Broke. I don’t often cry watching TV, but that film destroyed me.

01.01.08 12:25pm

Another year over. I accomplished a lot this year. My book is out there and being read, the next one is done and awaiting publishing and I started a new band that I’m very happy with. 2007 was a much better year that 2006 and I’m glad for it. My goals for 2008 are to tour both the book and the band and to finally get out of debt. Eight months. Eight more months and I will be out of debt. It’s been a long road but the end is very near. Being debt free will be so liberating.

12.29.07 11:46am

It’s been a lazy day so far. I’ve managed to accomplish nothing aside from waking up and cooking breakfast. We got the results back from the vet today. My dog has cancer. Luckily it’s a very passive strain and shouldn’t spread beyond the one tumor. The meds she’s been on this last week have made a new dog out her. I’m amazed that she’s seventeen.

Watching Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds, The Abattoir Blues Tour and drinking too much coffee.

12.27.07 8:00am

I am still employed. I’ve been transferred to customer service. It sucks. But I guess it’s better than the alternative. From what they’re telling me I’m here for the long haul. I guess time will tell.

My band was compared to Botch by three different people. I don’t hear it, but Botch was an amazing band and I take it as a huge compliment. I always find it funny when people compare bands I’m in to bands I love. I never agree with the comparison but the fact that they feel we sound like a band they like or even love is huge. It doesn’t matter if the comparison is accurate, the fact that they place us in the same category as a band they dig is a cool compliment.

12.24.07 2:52pm

It’s been a long weekend. Scaring Sparrows played our official first show at Ft. Ryland opening for Owen Hart. The show was amazing and we got a really good response. Owen Hart killed as always.

My dog is home from the vet and all is as well as can be expected. She has severe arthritis and will be on meds for the rest of her life. We need to put her on a diet and change her eating habits. So far she’s taking to the changes well and the meds seem to making her more comfortable. We are still waiting for the tests to come back on the tumor.

I got my Radiohead, In Rainbows box set in the mail today. The box contains two CD’s (full new album on one and eight bonus tracks on the other), two LP’s (the new album, no bonus tracks), a lyrics book and an art book. Pretty amazing packaging too. It proves that a band with a decent following doesn’t need a label. I’ll be listening to Raidohead all day.

12.22.07 1:09pm

Scarring Sparrows were invited last minute to play at Ryan’s’ Saloon with Otis for someone’s birthday party last night. We did it and it was fun. It was kind of nice to get the first show jitters out of the way on a show we don’t care about. We played well and I had fun. People seemed to respond to us pretty well too. Tonight we play with Owen Hart at Ft. Ryland. That is a show I care about very much.

I had to take my dog to the vet today to find out if a tumor on her leg is cancerous or not. She been limping and shaking for the last two days. Her back hips are bad and she is starting to get cataracts in her eyes. She is seventeen years old and lived a rough life before she found her way to me. If I lose her…I don’t know. I really don’t know.

Watching Factotum and listening to Living Hell, Shipwreck A.D. and Pusher (ex-Breather Resist) off and on waiting for the vet to call.

12.13.07 4:56pm

More people I’ve known for years lost their jobs today. I can’t help but feel horrible. Why should I stay employed and all these folks with kids and mortgages lose their job? I don’t know. This is an awful time for America. Unemployment is on a rise, foreclosures are taking people out of homes and putting them on the streets and the cost of oil continues to rise.

Watching the Henry Rollins show on DVD, Chuck D is dropping knowledge. The world needs more Chuck D’s.

12.12.07 7:33pm

The company I work for is shutting down. I don’t know yet what this means for me. As far as I know they aren’t going bankrupt so I would assume they are still responsible for customer service. But I really don’t know. Not knowing is really the worst part. I accelerated my job search today. Hopefully something more stable will come along.

Ike Tuner died today. I’m listening to Integrity, To Die For.

12.11.07 6:05pm

Today was the first day of my return to customer service. The area I’m taking over is full of the highest of the high end home the company I work for builds. Several homeowners out there are suing us. I am right on the front lines of the worst shit the company has going. Increased stress, increased drive time, increased gas usage. I’ll be over-stressed and broke. Bad combination.

12.10.07 8:54am

I was reading in the news today about two shootings in Colorado. One was in a mission, two dead, two injured, gunman escaped. The other was in one of these “mega-churches” founded by an evangelist who was fired for having a long term cash-for-sex relationship with a male prostitute. In the church shooting four were injured and the gunman was killed. Here’s the part that got my brain running on overtime, the gunman was shot and killed by an armed security guard employed by the church. The church has a staff of armed security guards. Church. Armed guards. Really?

Band practice last night was great. Josh impresses me more and more every time we play. He was kind of the wild card, Donny, Kyle and I all listen to a lot of hardcore and metal. Josh listens to a lot of hip-hop and pop-ish type stuff. I wasn’t sure he’d latch on to what we’re trying to do. But he has, in spades. The last three practices have been great. I can’t wait to unleash this band on the kids.

Listening to Thurston Moore, Psychic Hearts.

6:00pm

Found out today that I am being sent back to customer service at work. It’s essentially a demotion. My boss assures me it’s better than being laid off. I’m not convinced.

12.07.07 2:51pm

It snowed for most of the day today. It was pretty bad out in Stead, where I work. Generally if Reno proper gets one inch of snow, Stead gets two. I had to put chains on my crappy little two-wheel drive truck to get into the job site. It’s starting to sound like I won’t have to worry about things like that soon. The bigwigs are all having meetings with consultants to decide the fate of this place. My guess is I’ll be unemployed by the New Year. That’s really going to fuck up my plans to get out of debt. For my plan to work I needed to keep this job until October 2008. I’m sure I’ll figure something out, I always do.

Listening to Iron Maiden’s Dance of Death, counting down to four o’clock and dreading the drive home.

12.06.07 9:12am

It’s seems people are picking up my book. Sound & Fury and Discology both needed to get additional copies this week. I’m really excited that people are reading it. I’ve been plugging away on No Regrets (which will be my third release for Slander House) and still hen-picking the lyric book I’m toying with. The lyric book will come out on Machinery of Expression if it comes out. I’m still debating. I’ve gotten over missing the lyrics for the first two bands. I actually found those notebooks and it turns out I only wrote one song for Sick Boys and the Filth upon Filth lyrics were all co-written with the guitarist. I don’t feel the need to include them since they aren’t really mine. The missing Twice lyrics are the main road block. We had the beginnings of a full length written before I quit and I was really proud of those lyrics. I almost feel like the book is incomplete without them.

My bout with bronchitis has sent me spiraling down the well of insomnia. While I was stuck the couch I slept a lot off an on all day. Now I can’t sleep at all.

Listening to Zeke, Dirty Sanchez this morning.

12.05.07 8:11am

I have beaten bronchitis. I’m back to work today for the first time since Friday. The bronchitis pinned me down for four days. I played a lot of guitar, watched a few good movies and I started re-reading Black Spring while my ass was glued to the couch so it wasn’t a total wash. I missed two days of band practice which sucks. We have shows lined up and need all the time together we can get. We’ll be back at it tomorrow. My down time produced a few new riffs that I’m happy with. Can’t wait to show them to the band.

The down time gave me some time to think about the band. I like the first batch of songs we've written but the newer songs are a lot better. I’d like to demo all the first songs and then write all new stuff for the actual album we plan to record with Tom Gordon.

Unsane, Occupational Hazard is playing on the speakers this morning.

12.03.07 4:55pm

I’m sick as hell again. Went to a doctor and turns out I have bronchitis. Three years in a row now. Awesome. Last year it wiped me out for nine days. This year I don’t have that much sick leave so I better get over it fast. The doctor gave me a prescription and I skipped work today. I’ve been resting steadily since Friday afternoon. I should be able to shake this.