02.01.07 8:31am

So here is February already. As I get older time seems to pass much faster. I have so much I want to do and it seems so little time. I’ll turn 35 this year, that’s not old, but it’s older. By the time I am finically able to travel at will and do all the things I want to do, I’ll be 37, still not old, but even older. I still feel (and at times act) like I am in my 20’s. So that is no bad place to be.

3:24pm

Work has been a real drag this week. We have nothing to do to. I’ve been getting a lot of reading and writing done, but I am very nervous about getting laid-off. We’ve had three rounds of lay-offs already and I am sure more are on the way. Losing my job right now would really screw up goal of being debt free by next year.

02.02.07 9:41am

I had two band practices last night. Both went really well. NMNO took the riff I’ve been working on all week and put it in the end of a song we have been working on all month. It’s an odd transition but it sounds really cool. We have written three new songs since we finished recording in early December. Not bad at all. Something Nick from Only from the Cold said last night has been bugging me and I don’t know how to bring it up to him. I am enjoying myself in that band, the songs are fun but there are some things that aren’t sitting well with me. I need to just suck it up and talk with them about it before it gets too bad.

1:54pm

So I talked to Nick a little bit today about what he said last night. I told him it bugged me and he understood. We’re going to talk about it as a band on Monday. I feel better that I talked to him, but I still feel fucked up about it.

02.03.07 4:08pm

I took the motorcycle out for a nice long ride today. It’s the first time I’ve put any real miles on it since I got the new seat. I love my new seat. It’s so damn comfortable.

02.04.07 9:42pm

I had a good day today. Last night I couldn’t sleep at all so I was up till 4am playing guitar and watching movies. Today I was up by 9am and playing guitar again. Des and I did the breakfast thing together and then drove to Fernley to hang out with Tony (ex-twice) and his wife Devon all day. It was an old friend’s birthday so we hung out did the b-day thing and made fun of the Super Bowl all day. I miss Tony I wish he didn’t live out in middle of no where. I’d really like to spend more time with him and Devon.

02.05.07 7:34am

This was a good weekend. I got to take my motorcycle out and I hung out with Tony. I still can’t believe I sat and watched the Super Bowl. We “Mystery Science Theater 3000’d” the whole game so that was sort of fun. I was actually looking forward to seeing the half-time show with Prince, but I was really disappointed. He didn’t put on a very good show. It all seemed really half-assed. Maybe Price thought he was a bad choice for the half time show too. I wonder how the NFL came up with that one.
“Gentlemen, once again we’ve got the attention of every beer-swilling, wife-beating football fan in America for a few hours. How should we torture them at half time this year?”
“Well in recent years we’ve made them sit through N’Sync, Brittney Spears and Janet Jackson’s tit with moderate success, how about an androgynous elf with a fetish for phallic symbols?”
Nothing says NFL or Super Bowl like an androgynous elf with a fetish for phallic symbols. FOOTBALL!!! (Purple rain, puuuurrrple rain).

02.06.07 8:14am

We had Only from the Cold practice last night, minus one guitarist. After we were done playing we talked a little bit about this show Nick wanted to do. He had mentioned it last week and it didn’t sit very well with me. Apparently it’s at some kind of biker rally type thing and at least one of the bands is a white power band. No one else was into the idea so it’s a dead issue. I was torn for a minute. I think the confrontational aspect of it could have been fun, unless we got killed and dumped in holes in the desert.

My immediate supervisor is going on vacation for seven days starting the end of this week, and he called in sick today. It’s legit he was here yesterday and sick as hell, but if he’s out the rest of this week that puts me running the job alone for two weeks straight. If it stays slow as it has been this is no problem. If it gets busy I could be in a little trouble.

I’m reading One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest, by Ken Kensey. I’ve seen the film many times, but I have never read the book before.

02.07.07 7:43am

NameMeNoone had a good practice last night. The three new songs sound better every time we play them. I have my vocals figured out for the two I am singing and the tune Jackson is singing sounds great. I have an idea brewing for a fourth new song. I have the chords and changes figured out but I don’t have a rhythm yet. We have a show booked March 16th and I’d really like the set to be at least 50% new songs. The new music is going in a really cool direction. I’m feeling more natural in the role of singer/guitarist, and as a whole the band is settling in to our sound. I’ve been drilling my self on guitar fundamentals all week. I think that is my weak point right now. To get the music that is in my head out, I need to be a better guitar player. It’s time to buckle down and get the job done.

02.08.07 7:55am

Ryan e-mailed last night. He’s made some progress editing my book. I really just want thing out there in the world. I finished it back in July. Patience has never been one of my outstanding characteristics.

10:07pm

Practice for both bands was cancelled again. I really get bummed when that happens.

I read an interesting article about guitar intonation today. Not wanting to mess up my SG or ESP I tried it out on my old Les Paul that has out of commission for over a year. It worked like a champ and now that guitar is back in working order. It’s pretty exciting to me. That Les Paul was my first electric guitar. I’m stoked to be able to play it again.

02.09.07 9:10am

I stayed up pretty late last night playing my Les Paul. It’s so great to have that guitar back and sounding good. Not to mention that now I know how to set up my own guitars. That in itself is awesome.

We are going to try to make up both practices tonight. I’m not holding my breath.

02.10.07

Only from the Cold practiced last night. I’m not sure about that band. I really like Chris a lot and I like the other guys most of the time. With the exception of Chris, they aren’t anyone I could see myself hanging out with and that troubles me.

02.12.07 7:21am

I had a dull but productive weekend. I played a lot of guitar. I really focused on basic fundamentals. My fingers are sore and my calluses are hard, so I must be doing something right. I started reading Barack Obama’s new book, The Audacity of Hope, this weekend. I am interested to see how he fairs in the 2008 Presidential race. So far I really like him. I’m trying to find something about him to dislike but he’d not making it easy.

I had a very strange dream last night. I dreamt I was hired as a second guitarist for the Juveniles and we were at our first show. We hadn’t ever practiced with me in the band and they were trying to show me the songs as the crowd was coming into the venue. I was very nervous and had no idea how to play any of the songs. Shane kept saying over and over “Just play them like they are on the record you’ll be fine.” And then I couldn’t find my guitar. I was holding a Les Paul but it wasn’t mine and I was looking everywhere for my guitar. Mark said he saw it in my room and all of the sudden I was at home in my room, but the band and crowd were still right there waiting for me to play. I found my guitar and we started the first song, as soon as the song started we were back in the venue, but all my stuff from my room was on stage with us. We played all the songs and the crowd went nuts. What a weird dream.

02.13.07 3:17pm

I’m sitting in my trailer at work listening to Gun Club, Mother Juno. I had a full day today. They have sold several homes in the last month so I have a ton of work to do, which is good. The busier I am the less chance there is I’ll get laid off. I just need to hang on until October 08. By then I’ll be out of debt and free to do what ever I want. I can’t wait to have my only bills be Des and my living expenses.

I have NameMeNoone practice tonight. I wrote another new song that I want to show the guys. That’ll make four new songs. Once we get those tight our live set will be 50% songs from the demo and 50% new material.

02.14.07 8:00am

Oh Valentines Day. The faux-holiday for the buying of useless stuffed crap, heart covered underwear and enough chocolate to rot the teeth of a nation, all to profess your love to someone near and dear. If you have someone to love, you’re thrilled to be able to share this cuddly, wuddly Hallmark holiday with them. If you don’t have someone you’re empty, lonely and sad. If you’re me, it’s Wednesday.

Des left me a V-Day card on the kitchen counter this morning. We don’t normally acknowledge V-Day, but today there was a card. I appreciate the effort, but I refuse to accept V-Day’s holiday status. The only thing I like about V-Day (and I know I am in the minority here) are those Necco conversation hearts. You know the chalky hunks of sugar that say “Hot Stuff” or “Be Mine”. They have new ones now in an attempt to stay hip and current, “E-Mail me”, “Text Me” and “IM Me”. How long do you think it’ll be before we see “Add me on Myspace”? Maybe that’s too big for a tiny conversation heart, maybe “C U on Myspace”, “B My Friend”? I guess those can go on the big conversation hearts.

02.15.07 9:23pm

I had both band practices tonight. They went well. NameMeNoone is working on two new song ideas. They seem to be coming quickly these days. Only from the Cold’s first show is tomorrow night, I don’t feel ready.

02.17.07 1:04am

I am back from the first Only from the Cold show. I think we played a damn fine set. The reactions we got both during and after the set were all very positive. It felt good to play metal again. Two things about the show were odd for me. The first was we played on what use to be the Ark-a-ik stage. I have a lot of memories invested in that stage. The second was watching Vince the bassist for A House Cursed play. He had a double compound fracture of his right arm. Meaning both bones in his arm broke skin. 99% of the people on the planet would see that as an end to whatever they used their right arm for. Vince overcame this horrible accident and is still one of the best bassist I have seen. That level of perseverance has me in awe.

02.19.07 1:38pm

My SF trip with Stark this weekend didn’t go quite as planned. But it was still fun. Shua invited himself along which was fine, I haven’t spent time with him in a long while. We ended up not having any place to stay, and the talking show was cancelled. We did see Dos which is Mike Watt (Minutemen) and Kira Roessler (Black Flag). It was a strange set up just two basses and Kira singing. I enjoyed it. We thought we were going to stay with Megan, but that didn’t work out so we had to drive to Vallejo to get a motel. The holiday weekend had all the rooms in SF and Berkley sold out. I spent waaaaaaaay to much money on CD’s, but got everything I have been wanting. Over all it was an OK trip.

02.20.07 7:35am

I sat down and figured out just how much I spent this weekend. I dropped just shy of $300 on CD’s and food in two days. I’ll be on a tight budget the rest of this month and March as well. Des and I are planning to go to Pismo Beach in April for my birthday and I’ll need to save up for that trip.

02.21.07 10:35am

I am sick. I hate being sick. I’m sitting at work listening to The Best of David Bowie 1969/1974 and wishing I was at home. I have work I should be doing, but I don’t care. I just want to crawl back into bed.

My supervisor had a secret lunch meeting with management yesterday. He can’t tell me what was said in the meeting only that my job is “secure” and “they have plans for me.” That’s a relief actually. I’ve been worried about getting laid off.

NameMeNoone worked out a set for the March 16th show last night, seven songs three that were written after we recorded. I am looking forward to that show. We are working out two more new tunes. They won’t be ready for the show. They are both odd, and I like them. I think all of the Jesus Lizard and Melvins I have been listening to is bleeding into my song writing.

7:30pm

I checked out the site stats for Machinery of Expression today. On average I get 20 hits a day. It’s good to know people are checking out the site.

02.22.07 8:15am

Happy Birthday George Washington, government employees all over the country thank you and Abe Lincoln for being born this month so they could have last Monday off.

I am still feeling sick. I got up and came to work today, I’d love to take some sick leave, but I don’t have much left. I’d hate to use it now when I just have a cold or flu or whatever and need it later for something serious.

2:48pm

I am flaking on practice tonight. I’m too sick to go scream in that cold ass studio. I cancelled my tattoo appointment tomorrow as well. Last time I got tattooed while I was sick was horrible. I’d rather wait to get tattooed then go through that shit again.

02.23.07 9:42am

I still can’t shake this cold. I feel better today than I did yesterday, but I’m still not healthy. I’ll have to rest and take good care of myself this weekend so I can get over this bug.

12:35pm

I’m taking a long lunch today. I’ve got a lot of writing to catch up on. So here I sit listening to Compact XTC: Singles 1978 – 85 and typing away. Ryan and I are supposed to get together this weekend and go over some of the edits for the book, and he wants to check out some of the new writing. I still feel like shit.

02.25.07 3:39pm

I’ve been playing guitar all morning trying to work over some things I’m not happy with in the new NMNO songs. I came up with a great alternative to a riff we’ve playing that I don’t necessarily hate, but I think could be much more interesting. I worked it over a few times and decided to record it with my handy new mixer for the laptop. I got all set up to record and promptly forgot the new riff. It’s the same notes just in a different rhythm, but for the life of me I can’t remember the new rhythm. Fantastic.

02.26.07 9:36am

Des’ high school friend David was here this weekend. He is getting ready to deploy to Iraq. Des is obviously upset about the situation. It seems every other time we see that guy it may be the last time. Fingers crossed we see him again very soon. He’s good people. The guy drove from Walnut Creek to San Luis Obispo when Des’ motorcycle broke down last June. What more could you ask in a friend?

Ryan and I played phone tag all day yesterday so no editing got done. He and Tim have made some progress on that front but I haven’t seen any of the edits yet. I’m really excited to get Tim’s take on the work I’ve done so far.

I finally remembered the new rhythm I came up with for the new NMNO song last night. Here’s hoping I can hang on to it until practice tomorrow. I played in standard tuning for a long time last night (NMNO plays in drop D, so that’s what I am usually playing in) and came up with some really cool almost Damned-ish sounding stuff. I have a few songs in that vein I’ve been toying around with for a potential solo record, but I think I’d rather put a band together and play them live. The idea still in its infancy so I guess there really isn’t much to get excited about yet. I’d like Ryan to sing them. Once I get the songs down I’ll play them for him, I think they’re right up his alley, and I miss being in a band with him. I have no idea who we’d get for a rhythm section and I really think the songs call for a lead guitarist too. Time will tell I reckon. I’ve been listening to The Buzzcocks, The Damned, Adam & the Ants and the like a lot lately and it’s been really inspiring. I love playing the heavy stuff, but deep down I’m a punk rock kid.

12:23pm

Music has been the only thing keeping me sane at work this month. I’ve been listening to music in the office and in head phones while walking the site. In the office I’d been plugging my MP3 player into a boom box left behind by an employee who quit several weeks ago. Last Friday management told me to box up all of ex-employees personal belongings and get them back to him. So I went and spent $10 on some portable, battery operated speakers for the MP3 player. They sound good and are small enough that it’s not a hassle to transport them home and back to work everyday. I don’t like leaving my personal items at work anymore. Our trailer was robbed awhile back and I lost a bunch of documents. It was a huge hassle and I want to stay in the habit of taking my things home with me everyday.

02.27.07 8:00am

Last night Des and I braved the snow storm to get to the grocery store for provisions. As we drove carefully east on 4thst we saw a car stuck on a blind turn in the west bound lane. There could not be a more dangerous location on 4thst to get stuck. As we neared the car we saw it was a young girl, alone. We had to stop and help her out. Just after we stopped another guy (who turned out to be a father of four girls) stopped as well. The young lady was on her way to pick her husband up form work. They’d just moved here from Las Vegas and were ill prepared for spring time in Reno. She did at least have a set of chains buried in the trunk so that helped. We were one of maybe 3 cars that went by going east, but the west bound lane was a traffic nightmare. As we tried to get her chains on, a parade of SUV’s and other 4-wheel drive vehicles, cars worth more money then I’ll make this year, blazed by us heading to their $500, 000 homes with a bitchin’ view of the Sierra Nevada Mountains. Not one even pretended to slow down to help. Several cars even splashed road slush on the kind hearted father who stopped to help out. Generally speaking, there is a direct correlation between the accumulation of wealth and the level of kindness in our country, the more wealth someone accumulates, the less they care about their fellow humans.

Suicide’s first album is on the MP3 player this morning. My co-workers and I don’t see eye to eye on music. Sorry dudes Toby Keith just doesn’t do it for me.

11:00am

I’ve been reading a book called Story, by Robert Mckee. Mr. Mckee is a screen writer/lecturer who is, as he puts it, “starved for great films.” The book is sort of a how-to guide to better screen-writing. Reading it is making me feel like I’m a very average writer. I have good story ideas, but I don’t always execute them well. It’s been a real downer looking back at my writing and applying ideas brought up in this book. I have a long way to go. Suddenly I’m glad my book isn’t out yet. It needs a major overhaul before it can be published. It’s not quite “back to the drawing board” but pretty fucking close. This revelation couldn’t have come at a better time. The depression is worming its way back into my life and now I have a shit-ton of work to get too. Work is my only defense against the depression.

3:46pm

I decided to quit Only from the Cold today. Chris is planning a mini tour and the thought of traveling with that band is making me very uneasy. I get along with Chris really well and can see touring with him being a great experience. But I don’t really have anything in common with the other band members and I can see huge personality conflicts coming to light. I don’t like one of the guys at all. Spending all those years in Twice feeling that way about one guy, I just can’t put myself through that again. Chris is going to be bummed and I hope it doesn’t negatively affect NameMeNoone, but I have to do what’s right for me.

02.28.07 7:48am

I told Chris I was quitting OFTC last night. He took it pretty well I think. He’s a tough guy to read. I’ll have to tell the rest of the band on Thursday. I’m not looking forward to that. I imagine it will be pretty tense. I’m not the type to sugarcoat anything and I suspect they aren’t going to take the truth very well.

Listening to Gang of Four’s Entertainment this morning and waiting for the snow.