07.01.06

Guns Down has three new songs in the works and I can't wait to play them live. One in particular I am very excited about. Pat leaves for Detroit this week, so it'll be a month or so before the songs can be played for the people, but just you wait. NameMeNoone has an all-ages show coming up July 6th at 14th Ward I am very excited to play for kids with that band.

In my continuing effort to never grow up I bought a long board today and went out with my 14 year old nephew Aaron to bomb some hills. It was so much damn fun. Coming down La Rue I went down hard. I am beat up and bloody and I'll do again tomorrow. That is the secret to life, I tell ya. Live like you're a teenager forever, no fear, no regrets.

10:09pm

I may have hurt myself worse than I thought falling off the long board. Carrying my laptop out to the living room to edit my book (fresh from the proofreader) my left hand stopped working and I dropped the computer. The screen is a goner, other than that it seems OK. I hooked it up to an old monitor and backed everything up to my external hard drive. I imagine this will be about a $500 repair. My hand seems to be OK now, but I may have to go to a doctor.

07.03.06

Cost of a new screen for the old laptop: $520 + shipping and handling, cost of a new laptop: $620 + tax. So I bought a new laptop. Fuck it, right?

07.04.06

The Sonic Youth show is tonight. I can't wait. I’ll be doing a talking show this week for Ryan's book release. It’s July 8th at the 14th Ward. Should be fun, I haven't done one for a while and I think I have a lot to talk about.

07.05.06

I just finished my first volunteer shift at Sound & Fury. It was pretty fun. I miss working in a record store.

Sonic Youth was incredible last night. I don't get star struck very often. But I was last night. Seeing four people, whose music changed my life forever, playing the music that changed me, wow. Words cannot describe the joy I felt seeing that band.

07.06.06

Well our show at 14th Ward seems to have changed (for the better) now it's Health (amazing LA noise monsters), Think in French, NameMeNoone & Century (tribunal records). I can't wait.

I hate the people I work with. Today there was a small gopher snake (or rat snake not really sure) in one of the houses. People were running around, scared and talking about KILLING it. Killing a little defenseless snake? I caught the snake and let it go far away from the houses and all the morons. Fuck people.

My father-in law went back into the hospital today. I am not OK with this.

07.07.06

This has been an amazing week for music in my life. Sonic Youth on the 4th of July and then last night the best set NameMeNoone has ever played. I haven't had such a great show with any band in a while. Damn it, I had fun, and we played great. All the songs hit and we were tight. I loved ever minute of it. Century was awesome. They are very heavy, good stuff. Think in French is my favorite local band right now. They blew me away. And what can you say about Health? Could they be more amazing? I am doing a talking show tomorrow for Ryan’s Book release.

The doctor’s can’t really seem to give us real information on Chris’ condition. They are hopeful he can get a liver transplant. Des and her mom are preparing for him to come home. He’ll have to be under hospice care. Things aren’t looking too good.

07.08.06

The show went really well tonight. Ryan was on fire. The place was packed. We set up chairs and made it sort of “theatre like”. The girl that opened was doing her first show ever and she killed. I was so happy for her, she did an amazing set. Tim hosted the whole event and was really funny. As I was walking up to the stage I was still laughing at how he introduced me (I wish I could remember it now, it was really funny). My set went smooth. I think it was my best ever. I tried a new method of preparing. I pretty much walked around talking to myself in public all last week. I got some really strange looks, but it seems to be a successful method. I really felt good about the show and I can’t wait to do my own book release. Ryan’s set was the best I have seen, I had to film the whole thing so I didn’t really get to enjoy it as much as I would have just sitting and watching, but he was on fire. He was sharp, articulate and very funny. I will get there some day. Ryan has a few more shows under his belt that me. Every show I do is better and better, I am getting really comfortable up there solo.

It was hard to put Chris out of mind and get the show done. We still don’t know much, but he doesn’t look like himself. I am preparing for the worst.

07.14.06

I spent a good part of the day in the hospital with Chris (my father in-law). He looks bad. The doctors can’t seem to give us any real information. I don’t feel much like writing now.

07.16.06

My father-in-law passed away this morning. We spent all of Friday and Saturday at the hospital waiting for it to come, and when it did it seemed... unreal. He was only 48. That is so young. I can't help but think of the things he never got to do, even though he lived a rich full life. I can't get my head around this.

07.20.06

Locked on auto-pilot, can't sleep or eat very much…I miss Chris. Not sure how Des is dealing she seems OK…and it worries me.

07.23.06

We had the wake for Chris yesterday. It was actually fun, which was weird. I think Chris would have wanted it to be fun, but I felt so strange having a good time at such a somber event. It was very much needed for all of us I think. All the family from out of town has gone home now, and I feel like the weight of this thing is on me and Des now. Her mom is going to need so much help dealing with this and we are her support group. It's going to be a long and rocky road, but I know we have help just a few phone calls away.

07.25.06

I am in the middle of my Wednesday shift at Sound & Fury. Not a soul has come in. These shifts have become endurance tests in this heat. I would love to see the thermometer drop into the 80's for a few days. I spoke to a friend in Portland OR. a few days ago, it was 102 there. I don't know if you've ever been to Portland but its pretty rare for it go above 100 degrees for any length of time there. I am sick of the heat. I can't sleep at night because the house is too hot (may also be the crippling depression I have felt for the last week keeping me up, never can tell).

07.28.06

Pat quit Guns Down today. He waited until he got back from Detroit. It's the day before we were supposed to play Gilman, and he fucking quits. The thing that really gets me is I knew before he left for Detroit that he was going to do this and Josh and Ryan didn't think he was capable of fucking us over this bad. I had another drummer lined up and everything. I knew this was coming, and here it is. So needless to say Guns Down is over. I have dreamed of playing Gilman since the first day of Twice practice. I am 34 now. I wonder how long I can keep playing this type of music before I become a joke. Hell, maybe I already am a joke.

07.29.06

We should be playing Gilman tonight. I am livid. We had three people lined up who said they’d play the show with as temp drummers. At first Ryan was into it. Josh is taking this hard. He and Pat are best friends. Josh said he couldn’t play. So we don’t go. Fuck.

07.30.06

I got tattooed today. It’s a tattoo Chris (my father-in-law) got when he came with me to Carson for one of the sessions I had on my ribs. Mark tattooed a drawing Chris did on his leg. It’s like a cave drawing of a deer. Anyway Chris drew it and Mark put it on his leg while I was getting my ribs drilled on. After we were both tattooed, Chris and I drove up the street and got some food. We talked a lot about a lot of different things and really bonded for the first time. We talked for the whole drive home from Carson. I learned more about my father in-law in those few hours than I have in the 6 or 7 years I’ve known him. That day means a lot to me so I commemorated it by getting the same tattoo Chris had, by the same artist, in the same spot on my leg. Mark did it for free, he’s good people.