03.01.07 7:41am

This year is going by too fast. I need to step it up and get things done if I want to meet all my goals this year. Work on Romance Novels & Ransom Notes is going great. I feel totally re-energized and ready to make a fantastic book happen from the skeleton I finished six months ago.

Clint from Think in French and I are talking about starting a band. Were listening to Black Cross and Young Widows last night at Sound & Fury and it inspired us to bring the noise rock. The idea we have is a three piece with me on guitar/vocals, Clint on bass/vocals and ? on drums. We’re talking about a very bass driven Jesus Lizard type thing. Here’s hoping we can fill in the missing puzzle pieces (drummer and a place to practice) and get to playing.

James Brown is on the MP3 player this morning and I feel good.

12:34pm

I just finished listening to Dorcia’s CD Join the Choir. It was an awkward listen for me. They wrote a song about me and Twice called Two Times. I don’t know how to feel about that. It’s a good song and it’s obvious that what that band did had a positive effect on the guys in Dorcia. I’m wildly flattered. It just seems strange that something I did or said could inspire someone to the create art. Weird.

03.02.07 8:20am

I am having a bit of “buyer’s remorse” regarding my new Toshiba MP3 player. The battery life sucks and the interface with Windows Media has some major glitches. Toshiba says it gets an “estimated 12 hours per charge”. The most I have gotten is 9 hours. And if I want to make a play list I have to take the songs off the player and then re-load them in the play list format. I guess there is a reason iPod has a 75% share of the portable music market.

03.05.07 9:40pm

It’s been one of those days. I was pissed off for most of it. Nothing went right. I did make some progress on the book. Ryan came over last night and we worked out some stuff. I have a lot of work to do before this thing is ready for publishing. Who knew writing a book would so damn hard.

03.07.07 3:34

My sense of buyer’s remorse about my MP3 player is getting stronger everyday. I found a web site (mygigabeat.com) that has a forum where people all over the world are complaining about what a piece of shit the Toshiba Gigabeat S is. I am already having most of the same problems people have posted about. And now I know what new problems I have to look forward to. Bitchin’.

I finished the fifth or sixth (I’ve lost count) draft of the first story in Romance Novels & Ransom Notes today. I think it’s damn good, but I am too deeply entrenched to make an accurate assessment. I’m going to give it to Ryan tonight before my last Sound & Fury shift and see what he and Tim have to say.

Led Zeppelin is on my shitty, Toshiba MP3 player and things could be worse.

03.09.07 1:06pm

I’m so glad this week is over. Work has been a giant hassle. But the week is over and I can do what I want for two days. I think I got my crappy MP3 player working finally. As long as I don’t want any play lists or want to add any new music to it It’s seems fine. I am going to buy an iPod as soon as the 120GB model hits the shelves.

Des found out how much we’re getting back from the IRS this year. It’s a nice chunk of change. We’re going to use it to go to Pismo Beach in April.

It’s lunch time and Fugazi is vibrating my speakers.

03.12.07 7:55am

Saturday we moved my parent’s things out of the house I spent a good chunk of my adolescence in. They moved out a few years ago and my sister and her family have been living there. Now my parents have sold the house to some other family. It really strange going through all the things my folks had saved over the years and deciding which memories to save and which ones to toss in the dumpster.

Sunday I got my motorcycle out of storage and took it home. It felt great to ride around town yesterday knowing the bike was coming home with me instead of back to that garage. I rode around all day listening to Bad Brains, Sisters of Mercy and Bauhaus. Not a bad Sunday at all.

I’m sort of half looking for a new car. My truck is getting old and will probably start to have trouble soon. I’m not sure I can afford it, but it may become a matter of fixing the old truck often or finding money to make the payment on a new car.

03.13.07 9:53pm

I am officially an internet music shopper. There are no record stores in Reno that carry the things I want. I can order from Sound & Fury but it takes a long time, I can order from Boarders but they can’t get everything. So I am ordering direct from labels and failing that, Amazon.com. Here’s hoping the Post Office doesn’t lose my shit.

03.14.07 8:07am

I’m having a bout with writers block today. I’ve been neck deep in edits for Romance Novels & Ransom Notes this month. I took out a ton of stuff yesterday that I just don’t like and couldn’t decide how to fix. I added a ton more new stuff that I really like. I think this book is going to be really cool. I can’t wait to get it out there.

Bad Religion is on the MP3 player this morning and it looks like it’ll be a good day.

3:19pm

So I’m ditching Amazon.com for Rasputains.com. They have a really extensive online ordering service. The online stock and pricing are identical to the stores. I feel better supporting an independent retailer like Rasputin’s as opposed to a corporate giant like Amazon.

03.16.07 9:06am

Sitting at work this morning listening to the new Arcade Fire I feel like I’m not living my life the way I want. I should be on tour or in a studio or something anything other than sitting in this office. I’m working my plan I’ll be out of debt sooner than I planned, but that’s still 18 months away. Once the debts gone I’ll be able to do all the things I want to do. I hate money.

I sent the final draft of Romance Novels & Ransom Notes to Ryan this week. It still needs proof reading but I didn’t want to waste the proof reader’s time if Ryan wants me to make more changes. I’ve started work on more short stories. I’d like to finish the next book before the end of this year so I can get it out early next year.

03.17.07 11:57am

It’s St. Patrick’s Day. An excuse for people everywhere to wear green, get drunk and act like assholes. I’m staying in bed.

The NameMeNoone show went well last night. The turn out was poor, hard to compete with My Chemical Romance I guess. Prize Country where great. I’m going to bring them back to Reno for an all ages gig soon I hope.

03.19.07 8:07am

I spoke to Tony (ex-twice) last night. A friend of his was diagnosed with cancer. There’s a large tumor in his brain. He and his fiancé are still going to get married without knowing how long he has left. I think that’s great. Just saying “fuck it” and living. I am always amazed by how strong some people can be in the face of such monumental adversity. I spoke to Ryan and Clint (Think in French) about this last night too. I want to set up a benefit show to help them out. Maybe help pay for some of the doctor’s bills or some of the wedding plans.

I decided to use the “play all” option on my MP3 player this morning. It’s been a fun ride. Converge to Lucky Stars to Nerve Agents to Cop Shoot Cop to Sonic Youth to Stretch Armstrong to Grant Green to Naked City to Dead Kennedy’s. Not sure my co-workers appreciate the morning juke-box but hey they can blow me.

Reading Survivor by Chuck Palahnuik. It’s funny and engaging I’ve read a lot of his books, so far this is my favorite.

8:37pm

A friend of Des’ gave me a turn table and mixer today. I got it all hooked up through our home stereo and for the first time in six months I can listen to my records!!!!!!! It really is the little things in life that make it worth getting up in the morning.

03.22.07 10:36am

My folks just called me to tell me my brother is in the hospital with essentially the same thing that killed my father in-law. Liver failure brought on by Hepatitis C. The big difference is with my father in-law there was this huge and still unsolved mystery about how he got the Hepatitis in the first place. With my brother the often homeless, intravenous drug user there’s no question of how he got it, just how long before it kills him. I guess I should be feeling something, sadness, indifference, something. But it’s just Thursday. My only real concern is whether or not the hospital can go after my parents to pay his bill.

I finished Survivor by Chuck Palahniuk yesterday. Today I started Haunted also by Palahniuk. I didn’t know he had so many books. I think there’s eight or so. I’ve read four, Haunted will be five. I dig his style.

8:39pm

It’s fair to say I am prone to wild mood swings. I get more than my share of wild hairs up my ass. The wild hair I got today was to pull my old exercise bike out of storage. I tore it down to its most basic parts. All around me were piles of dust covered nuts, bolts, chains and cables. I meticulously cleaned and organized each part and then reassembled the bike. This process took the full length of the Fight Club DVD. I hit play on Fight Club and watched it again while I got a good cardio workout. I haven’t been working out. Not since my motorcycle accident. I am dangerously out of shape. It’s time to change. Step one: fix bike – Check. Step two: use it.

03.23.07 12:12pm

Sitting at work eating left over chicken and mushroom salad from last night’s dinner, a Tupperware bowl full of warm rice on the side and a cup of water. I’m listening to One Last Wish and reading Palahniuk. This is my hour to myself. My one hour during every weekday that I don’t have to think about framing or drywall or tile. My once-a-day mini vacation from plumbing leaks and bitchy
homeowners. In about forty-five minutes I’ll be back out there with the electrical shorts and paint touch-up’s and lawns that aren’t mine, that aren’t anyone’s yet, but need me to water them. But for right now it’s me, Guy, Chuck and these left-over’s in my musty, work trailer for an hour. Later I’ll go home for a few minutes and then to band practice. I might catch a movie or go to a show tonight. This is life, and it’s ending pretty fast. Time to get off my ass and make my life something better than a routine.

I’m four weeks away from turning 35. Nothing I can do about that. I need to lose 40 pounds. I’ve been sleeping way too much these days. These I can work on. Depression is seeping in to my life again.

03.24.07 10:19am

My whole body is sore. I’ve done 45 minutes to and hour of cardio a day for the last two days and I’ll do it again today and tomorrow and the next day and so on. I need to get in shape again. Once I get to the point where the cardio workout is fun and not a chore I’ll start in on weight training too. It’s going to be a long road. I’m about 40 pounds over weight. I feel like crap most of the time and I’m tired of it. I need to make myself feel good again.
03.26.07 7:20am

Tony and Devon came over for dinner last night. It was good to see them again. We had a good time. Tony and I are still talking about making music together again. We’re going to get together on the weekends and play guitar, so I guess that’s step one.

I broke out all my home-gym stuff over the weekend. I started doing some light weight training. I’m taking it pretty easy right now. I don’t want to overdue it and hurt myself. I haven’t really worked out at all since my motorcycle accident three years ago next month. I’m not sure why. The accident changed me, and not for the better. My shoulder has never fully recovered. I’ve been much more cautious and fearful since the accident. And much lazier too. I sit around my house and do nothing a lot these days. I use to get stir crazy and have to go, go, go but now I am content just sitting around. I don’t like it.

I’ve worked out four days in a row now and already my body is starting to get back into the workout routine. I’m not built to carry around this extra weight. My body wants to be in shape, it wants to be trim, it wants to work and burn energy. I already feel better than I have in months. I need to draw up a weekly routine and stick to it. I find it’s easier to workout at home. I don’t have to go out, I don’t have to wait for a piece of equipment to be available and I can go whenever I feel like it. The down side is it’s easier to put it off till later because the stuff is always there. Once I get routine going and it’s just something I do, I’m sure I’ll start seeing substantial results. I’ve set a goal to lose 40 pounds and at least three inches off my waist. I want to get back down to 200 pounds and a 36 inch waist.

03.27.07 8:16am

It turns out my gym membership hasn’t expired yet. I have access to 24 Hour Fitness until January. I went last night for an hour or so. I got a great cardio workout but my piece of shit MP3 player stopped working half way through. It’s hard to push your self and really work when there’s no music. I’ve got it working again and I’ll go back tonight and try again. Working out at home is really nice because I don’t have to deal with people but the range of exercises is limited by the equipment I own. At the gym I have more options. It feels great to be working out again. I feel better than I have in months. I feel like I have more energy and I’ve been sleeping really well. Des has been helping a lot by cooking healthier meals. I have become my next project.

This morning I am listening to a play list I made of my favorite punk rock and weirdo music. Birthday Party to Bad Religion to David Bowie to Suicide to The Breeders to Jesus Lizard to Young Lions…

12:16pm

I’m still reading Haunted by Chuck Palahniuk. The book is the story of a writer’s retreat gone horrible wrong. In between the chapter of the novel are short stories and poems “written” by the characters in the novel. Some of them are hard to get through. Palahniuk is an over-the-top kinda guy. I’m not easily shaken but some of these short stories have made me put the book down and just walk away for a minute or two. He writes about the worst aspects of humanity, the worst things you could imagine and makes them seem common place. I’m affected by reading no matter what. I love books. Every book I read changes my perspective on something. Reading Haunted has actually made me feel dirty and sick to my stomach. That’s good writing.

03.28.07 7:24am

Gyms are funny places. Everyone is there for their own secret reason. Some are there to workout and get in shape. Some (like me) are there to shed extra baggage and slim down. The majority of the people I’ve seen at my gym are there to see and be seen. It’s like a singles bar you can wear sweat pants too. Guys and gals wandering around in sweats and perfectly press t-shirts not sweating not working out, just walking and trying to look hot. I reckon no one looks hot after the sixth mile on a treadmill. It’s hard to pull off that Calvin Kline model pout 30 minutes into a really good cardio workout. When you’re working it, really working it when you’re bright red and dripping sweat it’s hard to look like you just stepped out of a Gap ad. So people pay the monthly fee and get the trendy workout clothes and the right shoes and go to the gym and don’t workout out. That’s fine by me. All that means to me is shorter lines at the equipment. All it means to me is I can run longer since no one is waiting for the machine I’m on.

I’ve lost 5 pounds in six days. I can see small changes in my arms and chest and legs. I’m on a long road to healthy, but at least I’m on it.

Andrew Hill is on the speakers this morning. And my body is aching and sore.

1:30pm

I finished reading Haunted today during lunch. The book is fucked up and disturbing. I can’t wait to read his next one.

03.29.07 7:17am

At the gym last night sweating my gut off on the elliptical machine I saw myself in the mirror. I saw the full extent of how bad I’ve left my body go. It was depressing and motivating all at the same time. Turns out I am a depression eater and sleeper. What that means is when I’m depressed I eat and sleep and eat and sleep. I feel weak and small right now.

I’ve been working out like I’m punishing myself. “How could you let yourself get so soft and doughy? That’s it buddy that’s 30 more minutes of cardio!!” “Look at those man-tits!! Two more sets on the bench press asshole!!”

03.30.07 8:26

I e-mailed Hans in San Diego this week to get some workout and diet tips. Hans is in AMAZING shape and knows a lot about how the human body processes the things we dump in to it. He gave some great food tips and a solid workout schedule that should turn me from a doughy ball of fat to lean, mean, muscular machine in no time.

I managed to get a wicked bad chest cold and had to skip the gym last night. If I am felling better I might go and do a little cardio tonight. I think I sent my tub-of-chubby-goo body into shock with this sudden burst of healthy eating and exercise. This cold may just be my body telling me to slow the fuck down and let it get use to the new system.